Disillusionment
by Nehan Shinzui34
Summary: At the beach, Erik challenges Charles to read the minds of the officers on the ships. What Charles finds ruins him.  Erik begins his revolt against the humans. As Charles, disillusioned escapes into drugs and sex, he soon finds running away isn't so easy.
1. Broken

Disillusionment

Prompt:Charles/Erik, (Charles/moresome eventually)  
>Disillusioned Charles, dark themes<p>

At the beach, but before the gunshot:  
>Charles has read the minds of the officers on the ships. What he reads there shocks and changes him. He realizes Erik is right, humans won't ever accept them. He along with all the others join Erik. Either Charles becomes strong and dangerous now he is disillusioned by the "normal" people or he breaks down, can't deal, escapes in drug use, sex, etc.<p>

_Erik's tone is taunting, his gaze fixed on him, the steel eyes cold. _

_"See for yourself, then." he reiterates, and Charles flinches as if from a blow. "Prove to me that what I say isn't true."_

_"You know I-I can't-"_

_"Why? What are you so afraid of, Charles?"_

_"I'm not afraid." he bites back quickly. But his tone wasn't altogether convincing._

_Erik's smile is mocking and cold. "Prove it then." he replies simply, and his gaze has become even more challenging, his grip on the missiles still taut._

_Charles's eyes lock with his, before he gives a small sigh of defeat. But perhaps...maybe he is just the slightest bit afraid of what will happen if he does. But he has to prove to Erik that not all humans are the same! (Maybe he even has to prove it to himself.)_

_Tentatively at first, he slowly reaches out, as far as he can, to the minds on the ships. He is surprised at how easy it is-never before has he touched as many minds at once as he is doing now without the assisstance of Cerebro. He doesn't like it much, if he isn't looking for other lost souls._

_There is the usual thrill though, no matter how morbid the situation. It isn't as difficult as hard as he thought it would be-the minds are wide open, their thoughts overflowing in their stress. It's almost painful how simple it is._

_At first, Charles finds what he'd expected-fear. All-consuming, overbearing fear washes throughout his body, and he slowly begins to shudder with it, so many frightening thoughts overfilling his mind at once._

_"They are afraid." he pushes out to his friend, who continues to stare at him with a blank expression._

_"Of course." the man concedes. "And what else, my friend?"_

_Charles shoots a pained glance his way, almost pleading. He reaches out again, however, this time probing deeper into their heads._

_And what he finds ruins him._

...

The man's hands were rough and careless, but it wasn't something he wasn't used to by now. It always felt better in the end anyway. The other was looking at him with that intense expression that let him know he was about to get off soon, but still held the dissappointment that he hadn't been able to touch him himself. Not like it mattered. Despite the smile that curled his lips, this was about all he could take in one night.

Slowly, his eyes sought the only constant companion he had now. The man's eyes were lazy with lust, but he knew he wouldn't make a move on him tonight. Secretely, Charles laughed at this man's mockery of a relationship. He honestly thought he felt something for him. How quaint.

He was pulled out of the man's mind for the moment though, by the man over him giving a loud, sickening grunt before he felt the familiar passage of liquid heat pass through him.

_Condoms for the next one, definitely,_ he thought hazily before letting loose a small giggle that was sure to leave the man feeling full of himself. Already, he could hear him.

_God, he was fucking tight, I was probably the best he's had in lord knows when, like he's never had it before, who knows why not, fucking beautiful cunt_

Charles inwardly rolled his eyes as he gave the man a small peck on his cheek, having to lean upwards from where he was laying on the floor. He noticed dimly that it was suddenly quite hot in here, a stark contrast to when he had first entered shivering and slightly unnerved at having to be completely naked. As it was now, he already felt disgusting enough.

"So sorry dear, " he said over his shoulder at the other man who had reached completion soon after the man over him, who still looked dissappointed nonetheless.(Maybe he should've taken their names earlier, he was getting confused already on which was which, they both looked the same anyway, and that was not too unfamiliar from the many others.) "Maybe I can help you next time." he gave a small laugh as he felt the other one's hand slowly caress his face. The Dissappointed One gave a small pout._ Pitiful,_ he thought vaguely, and he might've projected it because the man suddenly looked affronted.

Charles shook that off though, as the third man, his one constant companion walked over to him and, kneeling, put a hand underneath his chin, where they briefly touched the other man's as it still held onto his soft face, where he was whispering what appeared to be his praises in his ear.

He ignored him for the moment though because-he supposed he could be called his friend-was leaning into his face, and had pressed his mouth to his. Charles returned the kiss eagerly, because now his friend was pushing something into his mouth and that was what he really wanted all along. The tablet hurt going down his dry throat but it would be worth it in the end. Smiling softly, he gave a small wink to the man before pulling out of his embrace. He stood up, wrapping the sheet around him, the effects of the drugs slowly beginning to work its way into his system.

"Are you leaving so early?" one of them whined after him, and he gave an inward snort. _All of them are the same. Greedy,_ he turned his head offering them the coyest of smiles. _Disgusting._ "Just let me freshen up a bit, darling." he said softly. He entered the bathroom and sat on the covered toilet seat, leaning his head back against the wall and let loose a soft sigh. Whoever that man was, he was good enough at what he did. Still, he gave them the slightest nudge with his mind, ushering them out, so it was only he and his friend. Hearing him give a soft sigh as the others suddenly felt the urge to leave, he looked dazily out the window out onto the street.

It was quieter than usual, the normal rioters more occupied with the other side of the city, but faintly he could see the sight of two small children picking through the garbage. He gave the slightest scoff. He wondered vaguely, when the effects were going to kick in. He estimated it should take a few more minutes before he felt it.

Thankfully, it kicked in just when his companion turned on the news.

There was the faintest crackle of a reporter talking the now-usual banter about the mutant resistance, before his mind was covered in a brilliant fog, the clouds surrounding his vision a welcome bliss.

...

a/n: As if I wasn't buried in fanfiction already, here's a prompt I just totallly ahd to fill from the 1stclass_kink meme on livejournal. God, I love that place. I'm still searching for that OP desperately, so I figured maybe she's around here. Hopefully... And, I'm gonna be using all of her ideas in the prompt, so expect to see Erik , I hope you liked it! This is what I'll be writing when I have writer's block for That Which Is Forbidden, and when I'm trying not to stalk **LoveFueledHate's** story. By the way, I'm having her baby and Shaw and Charles are the grandparents so if anyone wants to RSVP some spots at the baby shower, just let me know. :)


	2. Happiness

Disillusionment Chapter Two:

His friend's name was Clay. Nicholas Clay, mid-thirties, an odd bumbling man, but he kept him company, and he had enough money to blow around for him. That he loved to spend on him.

Charles could almost find the man charming, even. He could tell that his affection for him was almost suffocating, but Nicholas lets him do what he wants, and never gets jealous, even when situations that occured not too long ago. Whatever makes him happy, makes Nicholas happy. Charles can almost find this amusing.

...

He drifts down from his high, reluctant and fighting, but eventually the fog clears out of his eyes and he is brought back down to coherency, with a grudging reluctance. He'll have to get some more and quick, but he's nearly out of options. He hadn't been in contact with his dealer's supplier, and the man who'd..._convinced_ into getting him his last fill had disappeared, probably been killed by either his supplier or some wayward rebels. Either way it meant Charles wouldn't be getting high again anytime soon unless he put some work in. He gave a dark scowl. It had been stupid not to get the information on the supplies first. Rolling his eyes, he hears Nicholas slowly open the door to the bathroom, his demeanor shy and fumbling. He lets a slow smile, creep across his face.

"Did you miss me, darling?"

His friend shifts awkwardly. "Yes." he responds quietly. He gives him another hesitant, almost anxious glance, his eyes roaming Charles' body, which is now fully exposed since the sheet has since fallen off his body. "You're...you're beautiful." he adds, and then flinches as if expecting a reprimand.

Charles lets loose a small chuckle, his back arching slightly, causing Nicholas to be tinted a light red color. The telepath resumes where he left off, gazing idly out the window onto the street which is now empty.

"Ch-Charles?" he hears Nicholas call him dimly. "They say the streets are clear tonight."

The telepath's face lights up immediately. He could always force Nicholas out anytime he wanted to, but that could get tiring eventually, and it was so much more fun when his friend was all the way there.

He leaps to his feet, the sheet pooling around his ankles as he bounds towards his friend, wrapping his arms around him. "Oh, let's go to that one club we went to the last time, darling." he says offering him a pleading smile.

Nicholas shuffles his feet awkwardly, eyes averted. "But it still may be dangerous, Charles. And...and besides...y-y'know we must keep curfew."

Charles gives the taller man a slight pout. "But it would make me happy, Nicholas." he says softly. "Don't you want me to be happy?"

Nicholas balks immediately. "Of course I do! Of course!"

Charles beamed at him. "I'll get dressed then!" he says with a smile, bounding past the man.

"But what if you get hurt-"

Charles gives a hearty laugh in response, giving him a playful glance over his shoulders.

_As if any of them fucking could._

...

Half an hour later, he slid back into the room, fully dressed his hair wet from the shower he'd taken just a few minutes before. Nicholas turned his head from the television neck craning over the couch to see him. "You look lovely."

Charles gave him another grin, that slowly melted away as he looked at the screen. He felt his whole body freeze, and his knees slightly tremble.

"_Yet another attack from the mutant rebel group known as the Brotherhood has brought the eastside of New York into chaos yet again, as the streets are once again filled with rioting and looting after an anit-mutant protest ended violently this morning-"_

Charles glared at him, seething. "You know I don't like the news." he snapped sharply, and Nicholas bowed his head.

"I just wanted to see if-"

"I don't care." Charles cut across him, "C'mon, I'm ready." They shuffled out the door, the taller man shuffling nervously behind him. Nicholas's wealth had still held out through the riots, and they in a relatively secluded hotel whenever they wanted. The lobby was fairly empty when they made their way down, Charles clutching Nicholas' arm tightly as the man looked down at him fondly.

The club they were going to was one of the most popular underground clubs in the city. It was where, drunk and delirious, the two had first met each other. Charles couldn't rightfully remember when he'd gotten there-the only thing he could fully remember was that he had picked Nicholas up there.

It was a sleazy place, but it kept him happy and entertained so he went every chance he got.

These days, whatever kept his mind preocuppied was good enough for him. Sleep was the only time his thoughts really troubled him. Only in the darkness could he hear their voices again.

The streets were mostly empty this time of night, all the officers on patrol were on the other side of the city by now, and the only person they saw was the occasional straggler.

Still, he could sense that Nicholas felt the urge to hurry along. Sometimes the telepath considered telling him about his mutation, just so he wouldn't have to deal with his fear.

All of them were so afraid. It nearly made him ill. His face darkened slightly but before he knew it, he was in front of the club, and those thoughts were wiped away instantly. Letting go of his friend's hand, he brushed past the doorman, rushing inside, to the dark, to the noise, to the...happiness.

That was all that mattered now.

He left Nicholas where he usually resided near the door and plunged himself into the crowd, digging around the clubgoers' heads until he found someone he might be interested in for the night. He was still a bit sore from earlier, but by the end of the night he was positive he'd find some way of relief before the end of the night. It was simply a matter of immersing himself.

...

An hour and a half later he found himself reasonably sore and sticky and sporting a light buzz as well. Leaving the man alone in the room with no recollection of how he got there Charles stumbled his way out of the private room and back into the club. The noise punding in his eyes seemed to be causing the room to tremble ever so slightly. The colors of the light were blurring before his eyes and he felt the whole world tilt.

Somehow, he mad it to the bar and slouched into a stool, covering his disorientation with a small giggle, as he caught the eye of another one of the patrons sitting there. The other man didn't pay much attention to him though as his eyes were glued to the television hanging from the ceiling.

It was showing a replay of some long-ago football game-they never saw any real live foorball anymore since most sports games had been cancelled due to the perpetual crisis the nation was in ever since the attacks had escalated. Charles reckoned he had seen this game at least twelve times already. He knew that after the quarterback fumbled, he would come back in the second half and score half the points.

The other man at the bar seemed to be thouroughly enjoying it however, and when a sudden alert cut the game off he howled in anger.

A special bulletin blared on the screen. It would scratchy for a second, but then a rumple-suited reporter came on.

_"Good evening, fellow humans. This is James Kent and the Channel One News with a Special Bulletin. The East New York area has just been completely taken over by the mutant terrorist grouo known as the Brotherhood. There are reports that they are searching for other mutants and taking many forcefully. They have also performed what they call a 'liberation' of all mutants from the government-issued containment facilities set up in the eastern half. This story is developing and the government has issued a renewed urgency for staying in your homes, and keeping curfew at all times. There will be more-"_

Charles tore his eyes away from the screen, his eyes barely containing his rage. He knew what they were looking for. He didn't want to deal with this right now.

Now much more sober, he stood up from the seat, brushing past people who were beginning to crane their necks to look at the televison despite the blaring of the music. He found Nicholas where he had left him, tired looking but happy to be seeing him again. He was brisk.

"I want to go home now."

"Is it because of-"

"Home. Now."

Nicholas complied without further protest, taking his hand and leading him out.

...

The walk home was much more subdued, the skyline tinted the faintest red from the fires in the distance.

"Charles."

He ignored him, his gaze fixated on the ground.

"Charles."

He stopped abruptly, turning around to face this man, who he'd become so irritated with so quickly.

"Charles, I wish you wouldn't be so unhappy. I hate it when you're like this. It...frightens me."

"It frightens you?" Charles replied, arching an eyebrow, his tone acidic.

"You always act so happy most of the time." Nicholas answered him softly. "I just wish you wouldn't try to run away from whatever is bothering you."

Charles gave a hearty laugh at that, his eyes twinkling. "Oh, Nicholas, don't be absurd. Know one is hiding. I'm perfectly happy." he stood on his toes to give him a small peck on the cheek for reassurance. He turned from him as he entered the building again, and his friend didn't argue with him.

But Charles had already read what was on his mind.

_Oh, Charles. No you aren't._

...

a/n: I SWEAR TO GOD THIS STORY IS ABOUT MORE THAN CHARLES BEING A WHORE. Trust me, it's alot deeper than that and I've been trying to make subtle hints here and there about where that's going exactly. This story won't be that long, but Erik is coming soon and we'll see what happens witht that.

Please review, review, review!

Nehan Shinzui


	3. Descent

a/n: Sorry, I've been taking such a huge break from this story guys, I've just been really occuppoed with my other fics-you know how that gets sometimes. Anyway, here's a new chapter-I hope things aren't going too quickly.

Chapter Three: Descent

They were walking to another party when it happened. Things had gotten much worse lately, and of course Nicholas hadn't wanted to go but Charles in his way, had pushed him to anyway. The streets had been clear for about two weeks now, what with the army moving the Brotherhood around. Several of the buildings in their neigborhood had been blown to bits and so Nicholas had moved the two of them down into the basement, where there had been two tunnels that would lead them out into the subway. Charles had been rather out of it when the man had brought him down, so he was nearly hysterical when he drifted down to find himself alone in the dark. Nicholas had to restrain him so that he didn't hurt himself. Scratches still covered the man's face and arms after that particular incident. But Nicholas had not mentioned anything of it of course, and Charles can still feel the soft touch of his lips on his forehead s he'd held him down, reassuring him that all was okay. And for a moment...if Charles was perfectly honest with himself-for a moment he had believed him.

In any case, Charles had become bored enough where he demanded that he be taken somewhere before the week ended and the man had obliged. They were going to one of the few that were still available an underground shindig called _Friar_ for whatever reason, laughing and giggling their way up the street, when Charles first felt the stirrings of something unpleasant. At first, it was so subtle he could've missed it-he was intoxicated enough anyway that he might've missed it, had he not heard the sudden shuffling behind them, the nervous shifting of feet. Charles had stopped abruptly, looking around, until he heard with his mind.

_Got to take the bigger fag out first. Then the little one won't be so bad to deal with._

Charles grimaced in irritation. Rolling his eyes, he tried to think of how to handle this.

"Darling is there something wrong?" Nicholas called to him nervously.

The smile he recieves is golden. "Just thought I heard a rat or something." He didn't particularly want to expose his 'boyfriend', he supposed he was to see anything if there was to be a problem. It wasn't that he really cared what Nicholas though of him-no of course not. Charles felt sober enough that he could debilitate the man when he attacked-oh he was _definitely_ readying himself to attack now-but he couldn't see himself being able to wipe his lover's mind afterwards. And for the moment..Nicholas was his only connection to anything involving pleasure.

Nicolas reached a hand out to touch him, his gaze soft, and Charles felt nausea climb up his throat.

_I'll get the fucker now._ Their imminent assailant thoughts screamed at him. He didn't want to deal with this right now. Things were going so well. All he wanted was some peace. What did it take to get some peace for once?

"Come dear, we'll be getting there just about-

"_NOW!" _Charles screamed at the same time their attacker and he swirled around to face him, face contorted in rage, tossing Nicholas' hand off of him.

He was a thin, reedly man, but he was holding what looked like a gun and Charles' eyes narrowed. Was he seriously doing this? Now?

The man must've heard him for he gave him an odd look.

"The fuck?"

Charles quickly realized that there were actually more of them than he had first thought, and they were now emerging from the shadows. A headache was now pounding in his ears. Gritting his teeth, he looked up at all of them, trying to keep his tone calm.

"Now, now, what's this about?" he spat out. "We've got enough fucking problems without you being Billy the Kid over here."

"Charles, please hush, I'll try to get us out of this." Nicholas whispered into his ear, gripping his wrist.

"Oh, you know what this is about, twink." the first one said. "You're out well after curfew. And what would that be for, eh? Didn't you hear that the Brotherhood is out here?"

Charles flinched slightly as he realized that these must be members of the newest government-sponsered milita of night patrolmen. The thought didn't calm him. He could tell-like all the members of The Finger-that these bastards were dirty.

"Then why don't you go see what they're doing?" Charles snapped. He was so very tired.

Nicholas' grip on his wrist tightened.

"Now, listen here twink." one of them said. "There ain't really a reason for you to be out here,less you're doing something you shouldn't."

"You two going to a party or something?" the first one smirked. "Mind sharing the party with us?" he made a gesture implying there may be drugs in his pocket.

Nicholas opens up his hand, offering the money from his pocket. "C'mon, we don't have to do all this. We've all just been trying to live as normally as possible."

The officer approached them warily, still pointing the gun at them before snatching the money out of his hand. With a smirk, he turned to his subordinates. "Now let's round them up boys for disturbing the peace."

"_What?"_ the telepath shouted.

"That's alright, we'll be out by morning, darling."

"We only want what's best for you and the community twink."

If this had been any other time Charles would've simply smiled and winked at him, would've acquiesed to this, would've went home and had Nichoas fuck him until he felt better, because that was what he was now, just something that was used and fucked, something whose happiness only came in small doses, in little pills that made his eyes roll back into his head. But he was tired, and he wanted to _go_, wanted to cling onto the last semblance of happiness he had left, and they were _ruining_ this for him, making him have to face that the world wasn't so bright and colorful.

Just like _he_ did.

"You are _lying!"_ he snarled. "You don't give a shit about the damn community. You're just waiting to see that extra bonus, you assholes." And it was true, he could read it in their minds, humans would never do anything because they genuinely cared they were greedy and selfish, even this stupid man who thought he loved him, even he only wanted someone to fuck.

The officers all glared at him, and the one aimed his gun at Nicholas, preparing to shoot him.

"You'll pay for that." he said lowly, but Charles wasn't dealing with that right now. As the man readied the shot, he let out a sudden scream of pain, clutching his head, as he began to shake violently. The others all stared at him, but Charles did not let up-he-he was just so _angry-_so fuking angry because it was unfair and it shouldn't happen this way. The head officer twitched one last time, blood running down his nose and stopped moving.

They were all staring at him now, theor eyes frozen in fear.

Charles did not meet Nicholas' eyes.

a/n: Ok, so I have an entire week off for Thanksgiving, and it was raining really hard earlier today. I plan on doing a bunch of updates for my stories this week, and I may have this story updated pretty soon too. I'm just happy I finally have enough time, except I'm gonna start working on my scholarships soon, so my time may get restricted soon. Anyway, sorry this is so short, and I hope you liked it. Please review.


	4. Flight

a/n: 9/12/12 1:35 a.m. Hello, my darlings. I'm terribly sorry that I've taken so long to update and there's really no excuse for it. It's been awhile since I've really written anything, and that shames me. I encountered this huge wave of writer's block that I couldn't get past, and my self-esteem was the lowest it had ever been, and I'd been stressed out a lot with high school. Usually, I could vent through writing, but it just wasn't happening for me this time. I hope the flavor of this story hasn't gone down, and I'm incredibly thankful for all the people that've been watching and reviewing, and I hope to do a bulk update on all of my stories for you guys! :)

Chapter Four: Flight

Their flight led them into the sewers, into the deepest parts of darkness that Nicholas' money could take them. And yet it seemed like the pursuit of them only escalated over time, and it wasn't just the militiamen after them now. Charles had specifically sensed beings of a higher power than those that had led them into this chase, and he could only guess what that meant.

He managed to stay one step ahead, he could always stay one step ahead, by just stopping to _think_, but that all seemed so very hard to do now. He couldn't understand why he had decided to run(-killed them all, he should've just killed them) and that had been his mistake. He didn't plan on repeating it.

And then...Nicholas.

He never spoke to him about what happened, and Nicholas knew better than to ask, and Charles...Charles couldn't bear to read him, see what he thought about it all. It wasn't because he cared what the man thought at all, no, it couldn't be, of course not, but the way he figured it, there was just no _point_ in getting worked up about that right now.

On top of all of this, Charles could really use a good fix sometime soon. He'd chosen to cut back on it, to concentrate more on getting them out of their predicament, and there was no way they could really go to any suitable dealer without arousing suspicion again, but he was finding it more difficult to go without day by day.

He'd gotten sloppy.

...

By the time they'd found suffecient shelter(a small, cramped apartment that Charles had had to remove several people from beforehand with a brisk nudging after watching them for days) Charles was exhausted, completely drained and suffering from migraines that left him panting and writhing, his body nearly paralyzed with pain, Nicholas often at pains with what to do with him.

The poor man tried, Charles gave him that.

...

When Charles could think clearly he constantly stressed about why he hadn't just killed the Fingermen. There had been no reason not to really. It would have saved him so much time and effort and all it would've taken was an extra-nudge with his mind.

But, in the crucial moment, when his fists were tightened with rage, his jaw set as the other two militiamen stated at him in horror, he had seen his companinon staring at him.

And the look in his eyes-

Charles let out a heavy scoff.

It didn't bear thinking about.

...

About two weeks into their stay at the cramped apartment, Nicholas came back with a small radio, and Charles didn't have it in him anymore to tear into him about blasting the news all hours of the day. He tried to keep at a low volume, in another room so he wouldn't trouble him, but it was old and wonky, and prone to burst into loud, sudden noise bits and pieces of the outside world screaming at Charles as he soaked in cool water in the bathroom, or where he sat huddled in the dark, trying not to cough up his insides.

"_We're speaking to you from one of the last remaining Human outlets, the Brotherhood has taken over most of New York-"_

_"...scouring the coastline..."_

_"For too long, my brothers have suffered under the tyranny of the Sapien-"_

_"We have searched and searched and are close to finding th-"_

It was if Erik was speaking directly to him, challenging him to come out and defend all that he once had, or to be by his side.

He had had dreams of the latter once, but all that was in the past now, more dead than his parents, and like he had so often as a child, he wanted nothing more than to bury his head in the sand and pretend it had never happened.

...

They had to move again. Someone had set fire to the house next to them in the wee hours of the morning, and already, as the first rays of light peaked over the horizon and into the window of Charles' room, the scavengers were beginning to swarm and hunt for remains as the family desperately tried to put the fire out and defend themselves. As they were leaving, others in their building were already heading out towards the house in droves, hungry, desperate gleams in their eyes.

It wasn't long after that the shooting began, scavengers, the desperate, and the plain greedy going at war with each other, feeding on each other throughout the neighborhood.

Now that he is forced to face it, without the fog of drugs or sex clouding his vision, he realizes that it still shocks him how quickly and how little it takes for things to fall apart now, how willingly the humans will tear each other apart.

(And, if he is honest with himself, it scares and upsets him more than he would like to admit.)

...

When Charles wakes up, it is to the sound of "Space Oddity" playing weakly on the small radio, and the sense that something has gone horribly, astonshingly wrong.

He gets up with a jolt, covered in sweat, his mind scanning the area for intruders.

Nicholas had convinced him to sleep in the cover of the trees when they'd stumbled upon the park the other night. Charles had protested at first, but they had been traveling on foot for days, sleep a thing long forgotten, food a rare pleasure. Charles had fallen onto the grass as if it were the king-sized four-poster he'd had back in Westchester.

Groggy, cramped, and with an increasing sense of dread, he was regretting that reprieve now. Vaguely, he could hear voices, coming closer and closer, the quick, hurried move of bodies searching for something, and shouts, gleeful almost, and he knew that he needed to move, and yet he couldn't somehow.

It wasn't until his eyes cleared and he saw a hint of blue that he leaped to his feet and turned away.

After giving an almost lazy nudge with his mind as he ran deeper into the park, he hears his sister fall to the ground, temporarily paralyzed.

Even as he runs through the trees, zig-zagging with no direction, he recognizes his movements as sluggish. He barely has time to react as a cloud of what appears to be red-dust appears with a flash before him, and he gives the red demon a blast with his mind, nearly stumbling from the strain in his exhausted state, arms shaking as his eyes dart around desperately for a second, suddenly completely unaware of what to do.

(This isn't like him, this isn't who he is.)

It takes him a moment to realize that he's been scouting for Nicholas for thirty seconds and hasn't found a response. The thought fills him with a strange feeling of dread.

There are too many voices, coming too quickly for him right now, and he can't focus, can't _concentrate _and now his head hurts and he fucking can't-

Body trembling and stomach feeling as if it's going to burst out of his chest, he turns to run again, only to fall on his back. Startled and confused, Charles attempts to stand, only to be jerked violently forward.

"No." his breath is coming out in panicked gasps now. No, no, not now please. "No, no, no, no, _no, NO!" _ he yanks at the zippers on his jacket sleeves, not believing he could've been so stupid, so _foolish, _how completely and fucking idiotic he had gotten. He is cursing himself without shame now, and as he is pulled through the trees, face being whipped and scratched by branches, his feet dragging mud tracks against the floor, an all encompassing, nauseating sense of failure permeates throughout his entire body until he is rendered mute with it.

Eyes closed, he feels himself come to an abrupt halt, his feet still not touching the ground.

David Bowie's voice wails at him from the small, tinny radio, and Charles looks down at everything he had tried to run away from.

_Here am I floating_

_round my tin can_

_Far above the Moon_

_Planet Earth is blue_

_And there's nothing I can do..._

"It's been too long, Charles." Erik says as the song fades out.

...

a/n: 5/29/13

Alright, so we're at the halfway point with this story now, and things will (hopefully) move a little quicker after this chapter. I should be updating a little more since my second semester of college is almost over, although I'm saving this and other chapter updates for my bulk update that should be coming soon. I hope you all like this, and it wasn't a disappointment after this huge wait. I really and truly apologize for that. Please review and tell me what you think.

Nehan Shinzui


End file.
